did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just pee around me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
