Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
