You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just made out with a guy for $7.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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