That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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