I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize