so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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