Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
A+ Viking dick
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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