just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
