We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
only you would photoshop your dick
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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