So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
