He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
