We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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