Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
