i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
