Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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