My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
