i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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