Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
