Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's never too late to be topless.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
