if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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