Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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