Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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