I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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