He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
