She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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