It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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