He passed out mid-signature
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
