in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
