yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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