She is in my trunk
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
