We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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