either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
