no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
