Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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