you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
