She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This is my gift to your gina
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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