Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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