I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
