Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
