hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
