Michael Bay diarrhea
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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