I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
being pregnant is like rehab
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I am available for nakedness
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
