I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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