Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
