I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
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