can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
