I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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