This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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