went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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