The maid of honor just puked.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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