I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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