i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize