I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
