The maid of honor just puked.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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