I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
