By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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